After years of humiliation and suffering, a mother of three children managed to put an end to domestic violence. In the summer of 2023, she found the strength to leave her aggressive husband and started a new life with the help of the public association AO Help. Ileana's story, shared with IPN's correspondent, is an example of courage and hope for all women who face abuse.
"I grew up in a vulnerable family. My adoptive parents never got along with me, but I dreamed of having a family of my own. After I finished nine grades, hoping to find the peace I wanted so much, I got married. I was 17 years old. I was a child when I became a mother for the first time," told Ileana.
The woman's husband had been aggressive from the beginning of their marriage. "I thought that with the passage of time, things would change, but nothing improved. Throughout the marriage, he physically and psychologically assaulted me. My adoptive parents knew about the abuse, but they never defended me. I always heard from everyone that I was good for nothing. When I tried to talk to someone about my pain, I was judged and felt obliged to endure in silence," related Ileana.
The suffering continued for years. "In 2013, I lost one of my children. They all considered me guilty. In 2014, I gave birth to another child, who had chronic health conditions. I was again humiliated, being accused of being a bad mother. From one day to the next, life with my husband became harder and harder. The quarrels and violence were constant, and I prayed for a day when I would get rid of beatings and humiliations to come," confessed Ileana.
The decisive moment came in June 2023, when she decided to break the chains of abuse. "After 14 years of suffering, I made the decision to leave my husband. With the support of Diana Cebotari and AO Help organization, I managed to free myself. I left with my three children. I was terribly afraid, especially since I feared that my husband would come to take my children. On June 5, I was already safe at the House of Peace, a refuge that offered me shelter and tranquility," said Ileana.
The adaptation process was difficult for Ileana. "I couldn't sleep at night. I cried and was afraid of everything new: a foreign place, foreign people. For years I lived in fear and humiliation, and now I just wanted peace and security. At the House of Peace, I found the support I needed. No one judged me, and my children gradually calmed down. For the first time I felt that I was sleeping without worries and that no one was hurting me," told Ileana.
In addition to accommodation and food, the woman and her three children benefited from psychological and legal support. "A psychologist came twice a week. The psychologist encouraged me to start a new life and look into the future. The organization also helped me with a lawyer. Elena Cojocari represented me in all court hearings."
Today, Ileana and her children live in a new home and she says that she feels tranquil and safe. Although the wounds of the past are difficult to heal, she is increasingly determined and has a piece of advice for women who are in similar situations: "Don't put up with violence. You don't deserve to live in fear. Ask for help and trust that there is a better life beyond abuse."
Ileana's escape was possible thanks to the assistance provided by AO Help’s team. "In 2023, we intervened to help her overcome an abusive situation, along with her three children. She contacted us from Râșcani district, asking for help. We offered her accommodation, psychological assistance and monitoring, and legal support was provided by the Women's Law Center (CDF). Subsequently, we organized a fundraising event to buy her a house and, with the support of the National Coalition, this goal was achieved. Also, through the agency of the Coalition, the woman received a grant that allowed her to take cooking courses. She had lived in abuse for 15 years. I remember how upset she was in the first days at the House of Peace. She didn't know what it was like to sleep without fear, without hearing screams. Today, however, she lives quietly, in her home, with her three children. She is a strong woman who managed to rebuild her life," AO Help director Diana Cebotari told IPN.
In the first ten months of this year, 21 women died after they were assaulted by their husbands, according to official data presented by the competent authorities at the beginning of the national campaign against violence.
