Maria Startsov is an accomplished mother. She has two children who make her happy: a girl aged 13 and a boy aged five who suffers from the Down syndrome. Five years ago, the news came as a serious blow to the family. When they realized that they have a child who is different from the others, they changed their views and reviewed their values and priorities. Despite the stereotypes and financial and integration difficulties with which they have to cope, they are united and know to enjoy every moment and each step forward in the development of the children is a real victory for the whole family.
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She lost the first pregnancy at six months. The long-awaited boy wasn’t fated to live. When the daughter was born, she regained hope in life. In several years, she got pregnant again and was very glad. She didn’t believe when doctors said that the child could have development delays. She didn’t believe even the geneticist who came to tell her that her boy suffered from the Down syndrome. She gave birth to him one month earlier and hoped that the doctors were wrong and everything will be forgotten when the child will recover a little. The boy looked very much like the older daughter who didn’t have development problems.
“A period followed when I practically didn’t sleep,” related the woman. She suffered from depression. She didn’t feel the ground under her feet and didn’t know what to do and where to go. What will happen to her boy when he grows up? What will happen to the girl? What will the relatives say? How will the community react? She didn’t have answers to these questions and the feeling of uncertainty grew.
“The medical staff and some of the mothers tried to convince me to feed the baby on artificial milk as the child was weak, but I insisted on breastfeeding him and succeeded. Later I fell ill and had to stay in the hospital for two weeks, but didn’t give up breastfeeding and breastfed during almost two years. I think each mother should know that breastfeeding is important in establishing the tie between the mother and child and in developing facial muscles. I think this also helped us to develop speech,” said Maria.
Early intervention was extremely important
When she realized that her child is different and this needs a different approach in development, she started to look for information. She was determined to do something, but didn’t know where to start from. She looked up facts on the Internet, spoke to parents with similar experiences and thus learned about the early intervention service and the Center “Voinicel” that supports families with children with development delays. The boy was only three months when they went to the Center first. “Here we were examined and assessed and were involved in a series of activities. First of all they offered us psychological assistance that motivated us a lot and helped us to speak about our situation to others and to accept it first,” stated the woman.
At the Center “Voinicel”, she learned how to make massage to the child and to motivate this with the help of toys. She learned elements of sensory stimulation therapy, with the help of different objects and tissue, and studied occupational therapy. She applies the knowledge she obtained from the Center’s specialists at home, in the yard and wherever she goes to the child. Step by step, the efforts started to produce results. The boy started to crawl and to babble and then to walk, even if much later.
“We started to applaud even if at the slightest result. Specialists of the Center “Voinicel” helped us from an early age to motivate him and to keep him interested. Owing to that intervention, at the age of five we can speak, can draw geometric shapes and know the colors. We are very grateful to them,” said the mother.
At the age of three, when they were no longer entitled for the services of the Center “Voinicel”, they were referred to a preschool institution attended by children with special educational needs. When they saw the boy’s progress, they decided to enroll him at an ordinary kindergarten that he now attends half a day and his mother is his personal assistant. It wasn’t easy, but they succeeded with considerable insistence. The interaction with the preschool children there, even if these are smaller, helps the boy to learn new things and to borrow behaviors.
Inclusion was a decisive moment
Maria Startsov said that even if society puts up resistance yet and there are different opinions among parents and teachers about the inclusion of children with special educational needs or with development delays, things move on. The teachers were mainly receptive. The woman said that this concept in the developed states is something normal and has been applied during many years. In the Republic of Moldova, there are difficulties and prejudice with which everyone should struggle.
“When our boy was born, we changed a lot out outlook and reviewed our priorities. We no longer make long-term plans as we do not know what can happen. We live and enjoy every moment alongside our children. Throughout this period, we saw that there were much more difficult cases and understood that our problem is not the most serious one. We understood that we weren’t alone. We realized that we didn’t have the right to give up,” confessed Maria Startsov.
The woman said that in such cases the interaction with qualified specialists who can give you expert advice and can guide you counts a lot. The doctors in the maternity hospital and the family doctors as well should know how they can help these families, for example by having a list of centers that can guide them. It is important for the parents to overcome particular barriers and struggle for the better development of their child and his integration. “It is important for each of us to take a step, even a small one, to change things to the better,” stated Maria Startsov.
She said she was very happy for families from outside Chisinau when she found out about the initiative to extend the early intervention services nationwide, which was recently launched by the Center “Voinicel”. The Center’s director Ala Cojocaru confirmed for IPN that the extension project is implemented indeed, specifying that this enjoys the generous support of the American people through the U.S. Agency for International Development.
