The line that delimits “education by beating” from violence is very fine. Domestic violence is used when the parent does not have control over the child, but wants to make him/her react in a certain way, either behaviorally or emotionally. When the child does not give an expected reaction, the parent resorts to the use of force, raises the voice or uses other methods of coercion. This approach is wrong and can traumatize the child. The parent must explain to the child what he/she did wrong and how he/she can remove the consequence. These are the recommendations formulated by Liliana Maximenco, psychologist at the Psycho-Socio-Pedagogical Center of the General Division of Education, Youth and Sports, who was contacted by IPN for a comment in connection with the National Campaign for the Prevention and Reporting of Child Abuse and Violence.
Lilia Maximenco said that, first of all, it is necessary to work with the parents, to explain to them that it is necessary to negotiate with the child, to reach compromises. It is much easier to use violence because the child’s reaction in this case will be immediate and this makes the parent’s effort easier, but this reaction is out of fear of being hit and hurt again, of being rejected by the parent. This is a short-term positive reaction, but, in the long term, this child learns that his/her limits are not respected, that they only have to react to violence. They lack initiative, feel unsafe, show fear and mistrust of adults. Accumulating these feelings, they project them onto those around and become violent themselves. “Violence is 'contagious' and ultimately affects all of us. We continue to transmit this behavioral model that will be perpetuated from generation to generation,” said the specialist.
Lilia Maximenco encourages the people to notify the competent bodies when they witness violence against children. As a rule, these are not individual cases as there are families in which the child is repeatedly subjected to either violence or neglect. If small children are left to cry, are left unsupervised, it is a form of neglect that consequently leads to trauma, both physical and psychological. The parent who is violent needs help because he/she cannot cope with the parental duties.
The psychologist explained that, when a case is reported, the multidisciplinary team is convened, a first discussion is held with the child to identify his/her needs and the risks, the situation in the family is examined, after which the form of violence or neglect to which the child was subjected is determined and, depending on this, solutions are found to improve either the conditions or the quality of communication, the way of treating the child and other aspects identified in the examination process.
The General Division of Education, Youth and Sports of the Chisinau City Hall supports the National Campaign for the Prevention and Reporting of Child Abuse and Violence and urges all the citizens to report cases of physical or sexual abuse, harassment, online violence or any other type of violence against children on 116 111 (Child Helpline).
